I sprained my ankle yesterday, slipping on a patch of ice on campus between classes. It’s forced me to slow down some today, which has given me a chance to look at something I haven’t had the time for in the last several weeks. The Strong4Life campaign. On the facebook page, there is a message that says something along the lines of the author knowing how hard it is to talk to your kids about eating “right” and staying healthy and how having that tough conversation is a step toward ending childhood obesity.
As a fat person who was subjected to regular doses of this kind of “talk” (you aren’t fat yet, but it you aren’t careful . . .) I can tell you this much: you run the risk of your helpful little conversation backfiring and possibly causing the sort of disordered eating that is far more dangerous to the mind and body than eating too many Oreos.
This is the talk that I have with my kids on a regular basis: Listen to your bodies, babies. If you’re hungry, eat something. If you’re not hungry, you can leave food on your plate.
Here’s some stuff that happens without a need for any conversation at all: Our fridge and pantry are full of a wide variety of food for them to choose from. I include them in food preparation. Want to help your kid enjoy vegetables? Let them make their own. Try it. I swear, it works. My kids even eat Brussels sprouts.
One last thing: My kids don’t see or hear me bashing my own body.
Kids are human beings. They value those things they perceive as having value. Makes sense, right? We value gold because it’s expensive. People value iffy-tasting foods like truffles and caviar because they are expensive. My kids value their bodies, because they know their bodies are valuable. Billboards talking about how fat takes the fun out of childhood, or whatever, are self-fulfilling prophecies.
I was shamed for my body when I was a kid. Out of love. Out of a desire to help me be healthier. It took years of therapy for me to get back to a neutral body-view baseline after that. I firmly believe that my whole life would have changed if someone had taken the time to tell me that it was okay for me to not be as thin as my sisters. That’s the kind of billboard we need. The kind that yells out “Hey, kid! You’re okay. Want to play kickball?”
Not just to the fat kids, either. To all the kids.
Yep Shaunta, it really is that simple. Kids don’t need a “talk,” they need to see their parents and other adults set a good example while treating them with respect for the fully acceptable rightfrickin’now people they are.
Great post, very true. Your children are very fortunate to have such a wise mother. As a person with cerebral palsy & arthritis who fears ice & falls with good reason, I also send healing energy for your ankle. Fortunately, we have been getting enough ice melt here where I live so that I can get out & walk around again.
You know, I think a lot of parents go in with the idea that selling kids on vegetables is innately difficult and well nigh impossible. But the fact is that most kids love at least some vegetables on the first try, and nearly all the rest can learn to love them with a bit of thoughtful presentation and patience.
Me? I’m the kid who always requested spinach for her birthday dinner. And I always looked forward to one of my brothers’ birthdays because he always wanted Brussels sprouts… my second favorite veggie.
Mr. Twistie’s mother never really learned to do Western cooking well (she was from Japan, and was great at Japanese cooking), so he grew up with soggy, flavorless vegetables and shoe-leather meats. It’s taken me nearly twenty years, but a combination of patience, persistence, and creativity has helped me help him appreciate a much wider range of veggies than he’d ever heard of before we got together.
Now he eats kale happily, has learned that collard greens are edible, munches spinach without complaint, and looks forward to my experiments with new things in the CSA box.
Still haven’t gotten him to try Brussels sprouts or cauliflower, but I’m not giving up yet.
The key to good Brussels sprouts, IME, is to use fresh ones (so I can only buy them a few times a year, but oh well) and cook a bunch that are the same size. Cut the big ones in half to match the size of the little ones. Boil just until crisp-tender. Leftover Brussels sprouts are tasty reheated two or three at a time in miso soup.
IME all kids love some vegetables if you don’t insist that they eat them for health!
Shaunta,
As an FYI, the link to your Tumblr, which is in your sidebar, goes to your Tumblr login page, and not your actual public web page. That link may bring you to the same page as the normal URL, because you’ve maintained the session in your web browser and have the session cookie. What I mean is, it may look the same to you, because you stay logged in to Tumblr, and either link brings you to your version of your home page.
If you change:
http://www.tumblr.com/blog/shauntagrimes
to
http://shauntagrimes.tumblr.com/
It’ll work.
Thanks!
Heh heh – I fancied myself the neighborhood kickball champ when I was a kid…
& I have been making a concerted effort to include my boy in food prep efforts so he realizes there’s more to dinner than food magically appearing on a plate!